Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
