I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
