super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
