sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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