flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
