the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize