On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
