You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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