remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
