drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
