My friends, they love my intelligence
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
