i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
