She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
