It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
