dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
