Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
