You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
