I wanna bring you to show and tell
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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