Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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