I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Panties = found
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