People with herpes should wear stickers.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
