I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
