Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
