I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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