now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
