she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
