Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize