Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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