he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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