He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had sex on a roof
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
