walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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