ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
