There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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