Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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