i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
