would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize