oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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