Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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