I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
