New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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