My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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