I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
tell me about the fingering
Randomize