Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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