addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
