There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
