This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
