who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
