I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
