4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
