im drinking this country out of the recession.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's always time for handjobs
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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