i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
