think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
