two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
