My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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