No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
