32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
