the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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