I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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