I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
